The Ronin Writer

It’s a rather typical Saturday morning for me. I’m mostly lazing in my easy chair, thinking about what I want to write today. There is a fuzzy orange cat curled up on my chest blocking my view of the keyboard. This is his favorite type of contact with me – usually he doesn’t like to be held or anything, and is not at all ashamed to bring out the claws when we play. But right now he’s just curled up, lightly sleeping.

It would be so much easier for me to type if I moved him. But I won’t. I’ll put off writing until he decides to move on his own. I do this knowing that he probably puts no thought into what I might want or need. I am simply a warm comfortable place for him to lay. Such is our relationship.

There is a fair amount of talk going around about advances in communication with people in a persistent vegetative state.   I’m not going to talk about the moral obligations that these new studies lay upon us.  I can see that this would make the incredibly difficult decision of removing or retaining life support that much more agonizing for the loved ones of someone in such a condition.

In my case, however.  please pull the plug.

I don’t care if I’m able to answer yes or no questions based on my thought patterns.  I don’t care if I’m still mentally functioning on some level.  If my world has been reduced to a bed with wires and tubes running in and out of me, unable to handle basic functions, with no real hope of moving beyond that, I should be let go.

Ever read the book, “Johnny Got His Gun”, or seen the movie?  If you haven’t, watch it.  That is my greatest nightmare.   Trapped within my mind with no escape.  Slowly losing my sanity.

This is why I have an living will.  I don’t ever want anyone to think that I want to live just because there is a slight chance I might still be sentient.  I have no fear of dying.  I have no fear of living in a tiny cage, or being physically restrained, because at least then I can fight, I still have control of my body.  Once that is gone, please – let my soul free.  Some prisons are just too small.

“Director Albert Hughes (Menace II Society, From Hell, The Book of Eli) told The Kevin and Josh Movie Show in a Friday radio interview that Warner Brothers gave him a “mandate” for a PG-13 rating on the planned live-action films of Katsuhiro Otomo‘s Akira science-fiction manga.”

Akira was never my favorite manga or anime. However, I have a great deal of respect for it’s style.  I’m wondering how the director can keep it PG-13 while still fully exploring the more mature themes in the story line.

Then again, the Batman reboots have been PG-13…maybe it can be done….

I’ve never been the most organized person. I feel most comfortable doing whatever pops into my head, without planning at all. This often leads to some interesting results, but it also means that I tend to avoid unpleasant activites and procrastinate horribly. My procrastination makes unpleasant things even worse, because now they are often overdue or out of date or someone else has already taken care of it because they were tired of waiting for me to get around to it.

I’m starting to make lists. I love making lists. What I don’t love is following them. In fact, I’m writing this right now to avoid doing the things on the list I just made.