Faster than I anticipated!
I had to take the site down for a few months, but now it’s back and there should be some new content showing up in the near future, so stay tuned!
Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio?
I never thought I would see the day when I would find not one but two books that I could not get into enough to get past the first few pages. I think, in my whole life, this has only happened with one book ever (and it was a really bad, pretentious book – I brought it for light reading on a cruise and I deliberately left it in my stateroom because I didn’t want to haul it back.)
Both books are new releases, and highly recommended, so I’m not sure why I can’t read them. I’m only listing them here because I know that the books can’t be bad and that I’m going to want to revisit them; “Buzz Aldrin, What Happened To You In All The Confusion” by Johan Harstad, and “Damascus” by Josha Mohr.
It simply can’t be the books that are the problem; it has to be me. Benzo withdrawal (yeah, more detailed on that in my private journal) must be affecting my mental state more than I thought it would, and if it is going to rob me of my love of books I’m simply not sure how I’m going to make it through the next year – for the most part my reading habit is all I have to keep me sane.
And close
Wiping NaNoWriMo off my list yet again. I just don’t have the fortitude to try to write a novel right now. Better to focus on shorter subjects that are within my current abilities.
Slow Start
My NaNoWriMo for this year is limping out of the gate. I couldn’t even break 1000 words until today, when I realized that the POV was not 3rd person with the student as the main character, but rather 1st person from the perspective of the serial killer across the street. I think it’s going to be smoother sailing now that I’ve figured that out. ^_^
Testing
This site is going on the move! Not that it is moving, but rather that I’m going to be writing from other places so I wanted to set up posting from my phone. So, this isn’t a real entry, even though it’s long enough to count as one. Confused yet?
Crouched at the starting gate
Wow, I’m much more nervous going into NaNoWriMo this year than ever before. I wonder if it’s because I have not been writing. But I’m finished moving, actually have a bed now, my desk is clear (mostly,) and I’m about as set as I’m going to be. So now comes the waiting. Four days, actually a few hours less, I think, and I’ll be able to begin. Wish me luck!
The Most Wonderful Time of the Year
And…it’s fourteen days until NaNoWriMo.
I haven’t written anything significant in two years. There have been so many changes in my life, so many ups and downs – do I have the strength to try for a winning novel this year?
I won’t know for sure for another month. But…I think I’m going to give it my best shot. Somewhere in here there is a story that is waiting to be told, and I don’t want to keep it waiting.
And…moving.
I assure you that the silence will be over soon.
At the moment I’m finalizing the packing for my move in October. Once that is finished, and I’m unpacked, with any luck I’ll be writing again.
Details on my move, and on my other projects, can be found at my personal blog.
Just a little bit more, and hopefully this site will come to life.
Chaos to Confusion
Perhaps it is an overly-ambitious project, but I think I really need to catalog my book collection. It’s gotten a bit out of control – if I include my paperbacks there are several hundred books scattered across the house. There are somewhere around two hundred hardcover and trade paperbacks, many of them old, some out of print, and a small handful of collectibles.
John has a bar code scanner, but I need to find a cataloging software solution that works well for me. I’m looking at LibraryThing, but it doesn’t quite do what I need, and doesn’t seem to be as flexible as I would like. I can manually enter tags to custom sort my collection, but that’s going to be a tedious manual job, since there does not seem to be a way to add tags from a commonly used list. I’m also still looking for a way to back up my catalog once it is completed – I would hate to go through all that work and have it disappear on me.
It’s something to think about. There are other programs out there, but all of them seem to be limited in one way or another. Perhaps some research when I’m not so tired….
The Box
Something precious wounded
lost wrapped in a blanket hidden
in a box
carried
in an overcoat pocket until a place is
found to store it
stuffed it in an overhead compartment
where muffled cries
disappear
the world moves on.
shake hands with everyone
smile
at faceless nameless numbers
titles
suits and skirts
gin and tonic and terrorist
jokes with a side of
celery sticks and genocide greenbacks and dead men
walking with martinis and a bit of
drool in their leer let them drool
let them stay too late and come too soon and leave them
floundering
in their sweat and spittle
with a wrong number in their wallet
and four crumpled twenties in yours hazard duty
demands
hazard pay scrub everything until is shines
leave no trace of taint behind
nothing of theirs belongs
with you leave nothing of you behind
take it all because there is no
renewal of this spring
the well has run dry
all you have is what you carry with you
smarts and cynicism and cyanide
in a hollow tooth waiting
for a bite
everything you have is everything
you need and never mind
the part you hid away
so many years ago it never brought you any good
even if I can still hear it
whimpering
somewhere
where when which
box did I leave it in is it still alive
what good would it do to check
nothing but
bleeding pulsing pain in there and
would it even fit
now that the wound has
scabbed over
why would you want it back
just because now
everything is dead and you are
dead and you want to live
you fool you
silly
girl
don’t you ever learn
it’s never worth
the pain but there is the box
battered and dusty you
foolish girl open the box and allow
the thorns to rip you apart but
I want it this time I want
the pain again if it means
for even one moment
I can feel this
thank you for this moment even if
the price of life is eternal
death thank you.
September 2, 2007